Marsh Mellow Mountain
Climbing the rippled, red paper, looking down knowing I could fall to my death on this slippery slope. A hurricane of brown cinnamon flies down making it hard to see the path ahead of me. My footsteps are heavy as I walk up Marsh mellow Mountain. Immediately, I search for Steven, who is holding a bag. As I get closer, squinting, he looks at me with a puzzled face.
“What's in your bag?" I inquire.“You'll see” Steven replies.
Reaching the top my foot becomes lodged in the creamy white icing. Not knowing what to do Steven gives me a fork. “Dig yourself out”.
At the beginning when you say "thick red paper" i think you should change it to something more descriptive like long ___ - something. also why does the guy who is behind the other guy want to know what is in his bag?
ReplyDeleteI do like your word choice of rippled red paper. You have a great sequence of events with a clear beginning, middle and end. The ending even leaves you with an image filling in the rest of the story.
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