Zit
Staring at my dreaded face through the mirror, I immediately turned for my moms advice.
"Mom!" I yelled across the hall.
"What?" she hollered back.
Just then she rushed in with a frightened look on her face.
"What is that?" she said almost looking disgusted, pointing at the red spot on my face.
Unable to answer she bolted off and returned with acne cream. Spreading the white goo on my face, thinking it would help, but the spot just grew and grew until it took up most my face. I then ran to my room, slammed the door, and told my mom I will not be going to school tomorrow.
I like how you used descriptive words like hollered, frightened, and disgusted. The one thing you should fix is when your mom returned with acne. It should be acne cream.
ReplyDeleteShe returned with acne?? What????? Also, you need an apostrophe for mom's. Unless it's plural. Also, you need a comma after unable to answer.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Stitch. It is a little confusing. I really like your story and how it's really creative.
ReplyDelete